Today was NAPFA and no work day. And I'm so fucking depressed.
Fucking 1 CENTIMETRE.
32 situps, stretched 38cm, 5 incline pull ups, 11.6s for shuttle run, clocked 16.43mins for 2.4km.. I passed all these.
BUT STILL, I FAILED THE OVERALL.
BECAUSE OF MY STANDING BROAD JUMP, THE FACT THATTTT I MISSED BY ONE FUCKING CM.
155CM and 156CM.
DOES IT MAKES ANY DIFFERENCE?! ):
I digress. Damn it.

I don't care, I'm NOT deluded by the fact that.
I AM FIT. LOL. :)

AFTER 5 stations and 2.4km run.
I lifted this HEAVY woman and walked down the isles lar. And I hurt my ass while trying to save hers! Piangggggs.
Love this photo to the maxxxxx :) Minus the tak glam-ness and greasy hair and face!

The girls who stayed through todayyy.






What's exercise without FAT FOOD after everything.
100PLUS, TOLBERONE, ICE-CREAM AND AND AND.
KFC!!!
Still I'm not satisfied, 'cause my meal kinda DOWNSIZE. ):

Okay, I'm really zonked out. And hungry again. Bed time for me.
Finally I can lay my head to rest and forget about all the nonsense and disgusting ppl. ):

Can't sleep, again.

Jolene had been a really good girl today. She met her darlings for lunch way before lecture. O.o Lecture did I just went lecture?! Lol, yup I went today lar. At 2PM. Suppose to go to work today buttttttt, got a last minute sms from lady boss on my way to school to say today isn't my scheduled working day, and so.. It was pushed back to tomorrow. But too bad, it's sisters' day out yo. :D So I can't work! Neither can I attend programmers' outing to eat claypot rice as I promised both retards to go suffer together. HAHA. But then again.... I can't wait to get my booze, or soya bean drink and you tiao!!! HOMG. UBER DUPER CRAVING AT THIS UNEARTHLY HOUR :(

Anyway on a random note, there were many eye-rolling situations that happened this afternoon. The bloody crowded isle of business school, pack with us business students.... I can HARDLY squeeze my way through, then the bloody long queues for FOOD... And somethings which kinda upset me lar.. I know. I changed. Stop telling me so, 'cause I myself am not blinded by my own doings. I'm not stupid enough to do what you call stupid things, I know what I'm doing, and sometimes I don't need constant reminders to tell me what to do, and to tell me who I really am. Sometimes when we try too hard, we just crumble more. I don't blame anyone else for what has happened, I don't want to point fingers, NO. It just happened so that things turn out to be like this. None of us are pleased deep down, but is there really anything else we can do. I was long worn out by this issue.... Just that I kept silent all this while. I seriously don't have that initiative to open up. You know what I think is the best now, silence means EVERYTHING. Peace. I like it, and it doesn't matter if things get bottled up in me, that's my nature. But I do appreciate for caring, all for the good of my well-being. But to think how harsh words can sometimes be, I seriously don't need it.

After lecture, met up with the programmers for dinner and discussion. And back to school at 7 for mass debrief. Everything was such a bore, cycles and cycles of pointless nothings which was mentioned so. End up, I felt that, I FELT THAT, to me I had wasted my 3-4hours in school. And in conclusion with everything, I concluded that last night's mass debrief was officially pointless, meaningless, desultory. Period.

TA MA DE FUAD. I will never EVER forgive YOU. Thanks for picking your flatten pet cockroach chasing me down the isles of business school to the ladies'. Seriously THANK YOU. Disgusting.

Ok, I just made came out with a stupid idea. Stupid Jolene. :/ Oh well, hope all goes well later.
If you are able to pay me back my favour. I APPRECIATE IT. GOOD NIGHT :/
Stay with me?

Sometimes you can't make it on your own..

Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I... that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need... I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can you hear me when I Sing,
you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me

Where are we now?
I've got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

):

I'm so drained, it's the last week of the holidays and yet again I let myself drown in my own insanity. I had enough of crying.. I had enough of myself.. I had enough of everything. I'm literally sick and tired. Lost my voice, and lost my mind. It's really hard. What you THINK you can really do, is really different from what you CAN do. When the impact hits you hard right in the head and your heart, it hurts so bad... You just don't know what to do.. I don't. Sometimes I think so hard till I literally break all my thoughts to the ground. I break down. "Is it worth it Jolene?" they asked me.. Hurt is inevitable.. If you can't take it, then don't. Why turn your back on me.. You think leaving me to hang here is easy? Fuck, I've been hanging on to so many ropes I just don't even understand why I even bother to when I could just fucking let go. It's not easy not easy NOT EASY.. ): You never understand. What I've told you eventually fell on deaf ears.. Honestly I can tell you, I can never make it on my own..... )': I'm sorry. I'm sorry to the people.. I really am.. Sorry, I'm sorry...

On a lighter note, I still want to thank the programme committee for the countless efforts put in to make this orientationa a bloody freaking success! I'm really sorry I had been bumming around and so oblivious to my surroundings, without you guys, Business wouldn't have won for the 4th time (: So cheerios to all! 4x CHAMPION, 4 TROPHIES :) So proud of my school. Yipey.

Okay, I need to turn in 'cause I'm running a fever again, and the flu, sore throat, cough seriously is the killer for me. Imagine cheering when you have that kind of nasty throat. ZZZ. So I'm voiceless, don't bother talking to me. Good night. Great Poly Garage Sales later, see ya guys :)

说爱我好不好
就当作是乞讨
哪怕说出口只需要一秒
你都不要..

Blurry.

After designing 3 advertisment, felt like I no longer have an arm and my mind's blank. blank. blank. and practically my mouth's gapping wide open. I'm like a stone statue or goldfish now. Damn shoulder bone's swelling up. I need a new computer chair, and my table's too tall damn it. wtf, I still have another thing to do. wtf. wtf. wtf. kill me. I can seriously chuck my bloody arm away. arrrrrrrrrrrh damn frustrated now. I need my sleep very badly. Today's just too much work CRM ANP CO&CO SUMMATIVE TEST. I think suicide seems like a better idea. I can't think alr lar.

Burnt out, frustrated, burnt out. FRUSTRATEDDDDD.
I'M BURNT OUT.

Spent so much bloody time on CRM then studying for my test last night and I have to redo no refine it. ARG. So sick of work. I wna chuck it aside and sleep. And I can't help dozing offfff. SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP.

Digress. Lets talk about my eye lolly. Heee. Wow, that's a happy thought for sure. Hey I'm perked up! Anyway.
I saw him ytd and he was sitting at the next table : )
HE. was in formal yesterday. Caught my eye somehow, did I caught his? :X He SMILED at me! :) I think he recognises ME :) And sorta know who am I :) And I think we caught ourselves looking at each other! I think. LOL. HE'S CUTE!! :D Strangely found him quite attractive. Heard he's from a sports cca. BUT doesn't seemed liked he belong to that cca. GOD. Hmm..... I'd be sad if he's gay.... :X HEEE. He's cute still :D YAY. Happy thoughts. Hopefully I can chance him every other day in school :D K enough of boy blabbering, think I ought to get back to work. Guess no sleep for me tonight. T_T

ouch my shoulder. ): DAMN COLD. Piling tissues....

Everyday I fight these feelings.

Did you stop to smell the flowers today..?

Before I hit the sack and disturb somebody's sleep further, a short one. Today is the day when I finally gathered all my guts to open my mouth to ask mum for lunch. And I told her everything I had gone through the past weeks. Things got better indeed. I can't believe I let myself go through all the misery when I can be so much better than this. I'd carry on picking up then. Life's always about the ups and downs. It goes on with or without you.

Anyway, project season is here again. Don't overwork okay, 'cause I myself feel the stress level hitting the brim. I'm training my inner peace. Like, OOOOHMMM. Get it? Lol. Reports after reports. Editing, presentations, assignments. EXAMINATIONS, after cny. Sigh. School is gross. I got back all the results. Couple of As, a borderline C and an almost D, which is an F. Yeah. Whatever. I'm aiming the As this semester. Go jols :D Because of the borderline Cs and the 2 cocky CDS-es I've taken past sems have resulted in the bad GPA, I'm going to make it up this semester. And also improve on alllll marketing modules. Suck real bad at those. Okay, enough of school. It's really gross.

Tomorrow, or later would be a jam-packed day. 10AM and bums up to get ready for school. Long one ahead. Then jogging after school and lastly. AH BALLING AT 85!! POLDARS, AH BALLINGGGGG :D TANGYUAN! :D Okay, waiting for my peanut tangyuan. So I go sleep now okay? :D Nights.





Halt, just halt.
Be sensible.

Time broke my heart.

Stupid gay peach walls. Like why do you even ask me what colour do I want for my bedroom walls when it's painted the same as his bedroom. It defeats the purpose of asking seriously. Arg. My room looks even more gay and too bright now. Stupid peach walls. Stupid. STUPID. Forget it. I hate this home, and I hate my room now even more. ):

Bizguides was a bore though I made new friends. And heaven cried at the wrong time. While playing during openhouse, it kept drizzling. Until we finished, it halt. Must be the terrible pieces we played. Guess it's cursed as it happened last year too. Well, the band needs the rain to pack up faster! Lol, what a funny sight. We beat the record of clearing in less then 5 mins when we usually take 10. : D Wasted time and went Ikea for some fat meatballs. And they all went loose. They gave me a new hobby which is bed jumping. Pooooof. Weeeeeeeeee. Sigh. Fun ends.

I'm facing these four walls again. Wish to really getttttt out. I'm dreading Saturday.
It's going to be a boring day later. Why everyone's so busy when I'm so free ): If everyone goes home, I'm going to blade alone. Tatas.

Coincidental?

Baby, don't move.

buttercup says (1:09 AM):
ooooh buttercup is a flower?!
buttercup says (1:09 AM):
haha
soaked in glucose says (1:10 AM):
lols. i thought its a powerpuff
buttercup says (1:10 AM):
HAHAHA

Haha. Random nonsense while struggling with report writing. Still after much nonsense, I'm done with my part! Thanks twinlove(: for cleaning up and the rest of the shit yadah yadah. Lol. Lucky it's approved. Just need to add on stuff. A&P. DOWN, for me. Hope we can do up the presentation slides asap. And then bye A&P! :d Speaking about this stupid module. I got a big fat F for it. Lol. On the other hand, CRM which is related to A&P, I've got the other extreme. A! YEAH BABY. This is not a miracle fyi, this called, hardwork. LOL(: The irony. Poot.

Doing school work with friends 'causes so much friction. But I have to keep in mind that work does not equals to play. Work equals to work, and play equals to play(: So.... I'm sorry if I threw my temper around or had arguments with anyone. It's really inner frustrations which I really didn't mean to vent it all out. I reallyam not in the best of moods lately. BUT THEN.... Everything will end soon!!! All the best, my friends! Please, please, pleaseeeeee forgive me.

I realised my problems are piling up. My family has become a burden, I don't seem to be communicating to anyone at home now. And I hate to go home now. School's an extra heavy load I have to cope with and Band on the other hand, scares me now. All the weight on my shoulder, lift it up for me? My shoulder's breaking. Forget it... I still have yet to find my tree. The place where that tree I have in mind is kinda inaccessible. I'm still finding one to talk to. Hmm. So I didn't find my tree today. But I think I found one while night-blading. I would check it out in the evening next week 'cause the weekends are packed. What do I have to do on Sunday?? I can't even recall. Nvm.

Oh yeah, night-blading. I spent 2 hours almost trying to get myself lost around the area. Well, I think it had been by far the best escape. It's nice just exploring places where no one can find me, blading past eerie construction sites (they were really dark) and places I never thought I would find myself to be at, and the night sky is just above me! I would do it more often now, just blading down the empty concrete pavements and gliding along the night skyline. Stars were so bright at such dark places! :D I really felt so much better, singing to the plants by the pathways, smelling the dense mid-night air, gliding left to right. Though the aftermath of blading for 2 hours are the blisters. ARG... ZZZ. Damn, and just when I thought I saw a UFO. LOL, nahs.. It's just a happy man flying his car-re-fuuuu areoplane. LOL.. Looks nice among the stars too. ((: Finally. Inner peace(:

Well, I'm beat. It's going to be a long day at school later. Just hope I can get my rest later.
Insomnia is taking it's toll on me. My face is sunken and swelling. ): Nights.

Thanks, bad ass day.

Damn, I'm here 'cause I don't know how to start on my report, a lame 3 to 5 paged one. ARRRG. I really am so stuck with it but oh well, staying up tonight to finish it so I can study on Saturday and Sunday. Hmmmm ): I'm so tired today, and the day didn't even went one bit well from the moment I stepped out of my house. The morning was really bad ass. So is the day. Beat this.

/I forgot to take my handphone which was left charging on the bed. Only realised when I was walking out of the lift so I went back to take it.
/Was digging my Ipod while walking to the bus stop and to realise only it was left charging. My maid was nice enough to take it down for me. Wasted another 5mins. Did I mention I was a tad late?
/While walking back to the bus stop, the strap of my mary-jane pumps popped outta place and I couldn't fix it back. I walked back home limping. Frustrating. And I picked a pair of shoes, which was kind of a misfit with my attire today. Pffft.
/Btw, all this? 'Caused me to miss two buses in the darn morning. Pissed. Fucking pissed. Nvm.
/So I boared the 3rd bus finally. While tuning in my Ipod? One side of my ear piece decided to die on me. FANTASTIC. So the entire journey, I was meddling with my ear piece, trying to fix it but to no avail. I went to school with "one-sided music" ): I'm utterly upset.
/Reached at 9AM on the dot. I was standing outside the classroom pondering why was the class empty. To realise I was at the wrong venue. Damn. $##^%&$%#@$##^%&$%@#. Lucky the group decided to wait for me.

BAD enough? Stayed in First Ave to finish up the visuals. And anything I did was a mess. SIGH. Big slap on the forehead. Had to leave for 2PM lessons but was back to finish up at 4PM. Somehow things turned out better and bf(: came. He waited for me to do up the entire shit lar. And we only left at 8PM. Thank God Hoho let us stay to finish! Lol. My team did well with the visuals again. The walls look AMAZING (: Good team effort! So much for standing and squatting for almost 3hours painting the bamboo backdrop. It's pretty mama! I love it!! I can't wait to open the store again! Cheers to 'Bikini Bar' !!! (: Lol, I suddenly thought of Roche today. Damn funny! OOOOO. Melts X; HAHAHA. K just kidding, I just think all my RMT tutors are so 'GAY" and gay : D LOL I love my tutors! ( : Huurays. Oh ya, at least something happening made the day better. HAHA. Only twinlove and I knows : D SECRET. Think I'm melting away too. GOD. LOL. Kaaays. It's 1AM. Time to blabber my report, now! (:

Having fun in First Ave. Whhoo, I feel so gay!Thanks for the fun, twinlove and jacq : D
Say hello to 'Bikini Bar' (unfinished)That's not wallpaper okay? It was painstakingly painted by my team for 3 damn hours.


What a contradicting day, still bad ass.
Nights and ciao : D

Fix you.

Say hello to your worse nightmare. D:

Mid-sem tests, oh mid-sem tests. Say goodbye freedom Jolene. From next week onwards, it's hell. Freaking dreadful papers, projects, reports and 1st Ave trading setup. And my dearest New Year, please be a good one? This year sucked pretty bad. Sigh. 3 months more to the big 2 months holiday. Oh man. I hate school. And time flies, next year's gonna be my last year in TP. That's if I make it. Great. Life sucks. SIGH.

Time to be a cavewoman now and drown myself in schoolwork. So you'll see, I'll disappear and run away every now and then. Pray for me to be strong.

After so long, I've fixed it.
Can't imagine how grateful I am for myself.
And I can finally smile to myself, saying everything's over now.

keep me from running back to you.

Beams :D Jols had just finished brushing her teeth. The taste of lime mint darlie toothpaste just makes me smileee. I love the taste in my mouth :D I really look forward to brush my teeth in the morning and night. LOL. Random. K before I go back doing my fucking resume and FILA chart shit, just let me rant some more? Lol.

Today's super uber random. While strolling to the bus stop this morning, I didn't notice anything peculiar until I walked past this truck with it's storage compartment door left ajar. I happened to glanced into it and VIOLA, guess what I saw. Nothing. But a coffin. Right in the middle of the storage compartment. HOLY COW, OH MY MAMA. Pretened I didn't see anything and whistled away... LOL! How lucky. Pfft.

Surprise sms from someone(: Lol, it kinda made my morning. Yea. HEHE... Kayy. My day's super random I know. So went to school and discuss about the store and everything. Met this little meimei supplier. I think she thinks that twinlove was going to eat her up. I wished twinlove did! Booo. Undecisive. Uncertain. Unfamiliar. Very bad. But their stocks were really pretty. Lunchers at our dearest biz park, long time since we ate there... AND I SAW MR ROCHE!!! BAHHHHHHH!!! COME BACK!! ): Sigh. Thank God I manage to save myself from trouble. LOL. If not tmr I'll live through a living-hellish lesson. ZZZ. Sigh. And another project meeting. (VOMITS) But overall it was fun ya. CX's damnnnn funnyshit. Lucky he decided to join our pathetic group. You're our saviour! HUURAYYS(:

Co & Co. BORING. Can't believe we're still doing grid-drawing. Teacher made me excited by saying we're doing colouring next week. It died off when he said we're doing a COLOUR WHEEL! (VOMITS AGAIN) Sobbbs... I've faced enough colour wheels last semester and bloodyhell did up a effing HUGE UMBRELLA SIZED one. T_T SPARE MEEE. SCHOOL'S SUCH A DRAGGGG. Whines~~~~ ): It's so true to think that I don't even have anymore energy to cry. Drained. Mentally, physically and emotionally. Zzzz. I need another get away. BOOHOO. Well, had dinner with Poldars and I decided to walk myself to momo playground alone. I like walking at night. I love walking at night. And I enjoy walking at night. Momoness. Makes me think. Keep me from running back to you. I had to run away. And all I ever tried to do was making you be my escape.

I'm seriously suffering from escapism. Save me.
Break all my thoughts, back to work. Sigh.

Poke the tutor.

Hey all, today's a better day already (: And I can just forget all of yesterdays.

Thanks boobies for the morning messages and calls just to drag me outta bed at freaking 7AM in the morning to go for the one and only dumbass 9AM lecture on a dreaded Tuesday. The rain didn't stopped boobies and ballies from going to school too. Yes we braved the rain! Hahaha. Boobies made my dayyy(: Thanks boobies all these while, thanks poldars, and thanks everybody else for reminding me who I really am. Of course, I'm your laughballs. yo! Lol. I must only and not be a emowreck from today onwards.

Highlight of the day, well not that I wanted to highlight my stupidity and of course my tutor's stupidity X: He really tarnish my oh-so-innocent image. Pfft. HAHA. For the entire morning, my bleady tutor has been aiming and shooting and teasing and nagging and tuanting and laughing at me. Ya, Mr. Ho is so god damn bloody NICE. RIGHT. Lol. Boobies and me did like the stupidest thing today. We happened to chance upon him in Cheers while getting some daily dosages. Boobies and me quickly sneaked behind him and guess what, Boobies went behind him and YELL! HAHAHA, then I popped out and YELL at him. HAHAHAHA! Should have seen the look on his face. LOL! The stupidest thing was, he saw us alr, he ji tao BO HUE us la. HAHAHA!! Then we go pay money... I was like "MRR HOOOOOOO.....~~~" He ji tao IGNORE ME LA!! HAHAHA! Then the next moment, he told the whole lecture class what we did to him this morning. LOL. Then he said "This morning, just don't wna mention got these 2 monkeys came up behind and scare me. I ignored them 'cause I don't wna let others know they are my RMT students." HAHAHAHAHHA. Laugh till I really wna roll off the chair. Boobies and me seriously BWG man.. So ya, the entire lecture I was being tuanted and disturbed. Accused me of thinking dirty, how I don't behave like a normal Year 2 student and lots more. It's a long list, trust me. HAHAHA. But seriously was freaking hilarious man. Hahah, and the moment I told him his programme was aired on RSI already, he was so freaking happyshit, really like some little kiddo. LOL! TUANT YOU. HAHAHA. OOI Mr. Ho I'm damn nice already okay, I WENT FOR YOUR ONE AND ONLY LECTURE TODAY, MY ONLY LESSON. Praise me(: HAHAHA. I think I shall not appear next Tuesday. Now the whole RMT will seriously think I'm really insane. I'm sane, trust meeee.

Lol, okay. Actually I'm back home since 12PM? Ya like right after lecture, 'cause most of the friends were having lessons. Pffft. So yeahhhh. I'm going for lunch opposite my home with my mom, yeah my mom later. Lol. Off to meet our suppliers at 6PM. Trading period. BARFS. SAVE ME x.x January don't come so sooooon. I'm hooked on to Bomberman. Random. OKAY. CIAO. BE BACK LATER.

I'm allllll smi)es. :d

Just ranting about my day.

I love making people smile (:

Hmmm. Sure is a hectic crazy week. My reports are all submitted late and are in terrible conditions. Well, it's finally over. AFTER SO LONG ): So damn sick of it, just the thought of it, it makes me wna vomit. I so wna get over that stupid trading period. It just annoys me every single day. I forgot all about closing shop today. I dozed off while watching twin and josh chiong-ing finance. I so condemn mr and bbf. Loads of shit crap. ): I also found myself dozing off during bus rides to school or back home. I can't seem to stay awake for just 5 minutes. And I reached my destination 30mins later before I knew it. That's how tired I am. Eye luggages ):

It's officially a wasted day. I spent time watching people, becoming a junkard and switching off to whatever I'm doing. I've got bruises on my knees, and God knows how they were formed. Even bumming around could bruise me. How on Earth can such an amazing thing happen. ): Oh, had lunch with bf-zero(: Yay, he decided to accompany me today. I'm grateful to have company! Anyway, watched them rush bbf as I'm helpless over finance, bummed around till 6.40pm and to find out I was late for band again. Yadah poo poo. Hmm wouldn't you be worried if all your reports were submitted late? I'm worried sick. Sigh. Mind's sick too. Band played jazz today, and poor Jolene couldn't play jazz for nuts. Never like to play jazz ): Had a rather bad experience maybe that's why. So was just trying to feel the music and rythms. I suck. Boo. Rest of the pieces were played badly still. Sigh.. I need a lot of practice): Can't find time for it. Dinner with the dearest at Techno. And off to our emo-playground for the normal chats. And back home at 12.30am again. Hehhh.

It's just strange how people could eventually become really good buddies, like how Seehua, Olivia and I have become. How we could slowly open our hearts and hear for each other. Standing by one another. (thinks of the tune oh darling darling stand.. by me. Twin and Jacq!) Lol. Random. There is just some people you can and can't talk to. Takes a lot of time and courage to open your hearts to this 'strangers' you've met? It's because you trust them? Hmmm. Strange.. Well what matters most is, we're all buddies(:

Oh well, I think that's enough of talking to myself. Bsc sccamp later. ): Hope it's going to be a good weekend. I'm so tired. Bet I'll sleep like a pig tmr night. New people to open up to again! Lol, like a 'vicious' life cycle. Where love and hate begins. Ee. ): Wow wow wow! Just saw a whole stretch of police cars whizzed past my block. OMG, so KUA ZHANG. Like 10 or more police cars from all directions! Wonder what happened?!?! OMG, never seen this before. We're not safe anymore ): Okay, mommy brought in fruits for me. And have to finish it before bed. Poooot. Okay, time's running short. have to wake at 7am later. BYEE LOVE.

Over it.

I. DEPRIVE.
One. Sleep
Two. Friends.
Three. Proper meals.
Four. Entertainment.
Five. Tranquility.

That. I. stone. and. typed. this. way.
I. whined.
I. cried.
I. cracked. under. pressure.
Went. insane.
And. started. laughing. to. myself.

Yup. I was driven to insanity due to the work load. I was so overloaded with projects and assignments. And and and and STRESS AND.. ARHHH. Submitted MR report yesterday.. BUT WE WERE 2HOURS LATE, and we couldn't even submit in peace after it was done 'cause Roche went home. He said to be submitted the next morning personally. Then twin and I went down early this morning to apologise for what had happened. We waited for an hour or so to only find he was on leave. ....... Thanks for making me wake up so early. ARG. SO GOD DAMN FRUSTRATED. I only slept 4 hours. I wanted to make up for my sleep debts and there it goes again. I'm so fucking tired.. like every part of me, mentally, physically and emotionally drained. Everyday I slogged for projects for the sake of my grades, and it wasn't worth my time at all. It wasn't fair. ): I had enough of the conflicts and arguements in this group, the too many different ways of getting work done and all this work load. Everyday I'm an angry girl. Then emotions taken its toll, I start to feel the guilt and just want to break down and cry. Who am I exactly? I don't wna retake any modules please. MR is a whole load of shit, I swear. How can we ever work in peaceeeeee?????? ARG. So what it's over, there's still the consequences to face. Forget it. And no, it still doesn't stop me from thinking about it. I. am. still. thinking. about. it.

I wasted my entire day today doing nothing. Watch twin, josh and hai finish up finance proj, which was so totally unproductive. I pray they finish it on time. Twin promised to finish the report on time. Omg, please dont screw up like ytd and everything would be okay, please please.. I can't afford to fail again. And my Psycho. Omg. Endangering 3 fucking modules. OMFG. SAVE ME.. I don't get why I'm so sleepy during psycho tutorials. I will doze off eventually when Mr Jeff's teaching the theories. And honestly speaking, he's not one bit boring. Trust me.. Even doodling the pages didn't help. I still fall asleep with the pencil still in my hand. It's terrible. I need help. Maybe it's just me. Maybe. Just. Kill. Me. PLEASE? Sigh. But activities today were fun. Especially the relaxing and tensing of muscles session. Hehe, really made me laughed after so long. Went to Henderson with twin to find our suppliers and restocked on the hp keychains that's all. Lol, twin went on date! b: Though it left you confused. ): No worries, there's better ones out there.

Finally met up with OLIVIA to chill and de-stress. After 3 damn long weeks. I missed you lovely. Sigh. Talked non-stop till 10pm. Sigh.. Everyone's leaving me soon in September, and off all time when my Birthday's approaching ): Jayjay's sailing to Perth and other continents for two months, Eerik's going into NS - solitary confinement, two Olivia's FLYING, one to China, another one with frequent flights to Bangkok. And wtf, I'm confined in Spore. Time keep still? NO? ): Ya, I'm still praying for a day when time rewinds. It's okay if tomorrow ended without me knowing. Hmmmm. ): Shit, I just rmbed I had some stuff to do. I procastinated. Think it's 11am in school to open up the store later. Yawns, finally more slp. AND BAND. MY red hot chillies, going to see you guys oh-so-soooon. DINNER. : D Good night.

Read my lips, because I'm so over it.

Don't wna go to bed yet.

Just received an sms from felfel asking me to join feli and her for supper at jalan kayu. (...) SIAO ARH. What time is it man? Lol, they're near by though, but how on earth can we get there? I don't mind roller-blading there. Forget it, thinks me mommy is going to forbid me from going out so late at night. Boo.

Hmmm. This week is super extremely busy and stressed to the max. ): I almost cried man, lucky my boyfriends and dears were there. AWWWS, just when you needed some love and a warm hug, they're there. And yup, my tears didn't fall eventually. Hee. Thank you guys. I really like being in band to see all my friends, making some music to lift my spirits up and destress for all I care.

Today's business was better than Friday's(: I think. Hmm. I finally took some pictures of my puny lil' shop. Didn't even have time to take pictures after the set-up. So here. DO VISIT ONCE AGN.
Over view of our puny lil' store. RAINBOWW + CLOUDS + SUN!I'm proud of my VM! :x
The woodie section..
Picnic Basket! YHUMMY(:
MASA-MASA! (: I swear they're SUPER UBER CUTE.
Some vintage necklaces we made.
Anyw, you can visit more here. Yhum-yhum. Hmmm, operation was real fun today! Was hopping around 1st Avenue. Think Ho Ho's going to scream his head off and shower me with his sarcasms when he spot checks the videos. BOO. Helping out at Casual-Tees today. (: And I had fun with the classmates. I don't like to take pictures with Caris luh. She toooooo tiny. LOL~



Must aim the camera properly so that we look even. LOL! Just kidding luh, I love her!(:

Marketing Research project is only a highway to hell, I swear. Keep stressing over it. And I can't do anything with it now 'cause I need to go back to school and use the effing program to collate my calculations. IRRITATING SHIT, I'm really wasting a lot of time. ): SAVE ME. TOMORROW'S THE DEADLINE!!! FUCK IT. NOT EVEN HALF OF THE EFFING REPORT. That's it. I was told not get so stress over it. Okay I shall fuck care it now.

Band after project meeting. Ya, I almost burst. But had band, Ah Tan didn't come so law ba took full band. It's more fun I guess, but less productive. LOL. I had my fun(: Dinner with hua, frotong and erica. Met chipchip, raz darls, zhexing and nina at macs and we all talked and walked home together. Heh, it was fun(: I wish time goes slower when we have fun... But time is all the same, nobody could ever stop it. Time waits for no man. So we all move along. Sigh. Got to wake up early.. So think I better hit the sack NOW. Have got coughs and a stuffy nose ): Boo.. Hope to get well soon. Good night world.

I must be lying if I'd said my heart's not a mess..

eye bags luggage.

Me: "Omg.. I've got eye bags.."
Seehua: "Those are not eye bags, those are eye luggage."

HAHAHAHAS. Rolls on floor laughing. That was real dumb. Ya.. I've got like a major sleep deprivation. I can't exactly go to bed now 'cause I've got so much shit to do. BOO. I neeeeeeeed my bed. And I miss my mom. Okay that was random. But I really miss and need these both real real real bad. I REALLY MISS MY MOMMY): Hug hug???

Stayed up on Thursday night at Jacq's place to complete our Merch Buy stuff. And of all days, my Twinnie fell real ill and I had to take over, which I think I did a sucky job. MAJOR SIGH. It was such a horrendous night, with the fever running and the runny nose with a box of tissue by my side.. Typing presentation slides, cutting pictures for catalogue and doing up those smaller signages for the displays... ARG.. Worked from 10pm all the way till 7am in the morning and rushed down to school to print out the slides. Don't bother, the presentation sucks too. ): Presentations are NEVER good when they're last minute. After that was hell and hectic, setting up the store for the last before opening. IT WAS SOOOO MESSED UP ): Couldn't even count all the opening stock as we displayed too many and the customers were already browsing and picking items before we open. Arg... But operations went out smoothly, walking around 1st Avenue and Biz school aimlessly, disturbing the people, hung around with the clique till 4pm. Same problem, couldn't telly the closing stocks. Anyway, I think R01 and R02's VM and merchandises are damn good(: I love the army hat and shades from su babe's store(Love At First Sight). I'm so tempted to get it!! And the hp straps from Chocolate Box! AHHH. Shopping spree at First Ave. Crazy. Lol. Please visit us all, and show your support for 1st Avenue, especially for my groupie and my store, Summr Cottage!!

Instead of going home after operation, I went for band. I am such good girl, see? But.... I end up dozing off whenever Ah Tan is talking or coaching the other sections. I couldnt help, but what could I do.. I was WIDE awake for the past 36hours without naps or sleep. Oh well, it was woodwinds sectional anyway. Was rather productive, must say. AND WOAH! Thank God he wasn't there to spoil our intonation ytd. LOL. We just sounded so damn good. To a certain extent. GRINS. Seehua came! ((: AND SHE GAVE ME HONEY LEMON DRINK! (: AWWW. She's the sweetest. Hehe. I was awfully happy when band ended. We had cuppy cakes from Cynthia mommsie(((x They were too pretty to be eaten. I saw boyfriendTWO holding on to her cuppiecake for a LONG LONG TIME. LOL, think she couldn't bare to eat it. It's really reallyyyy UBER CUTEEEE.

SEE?! Even the box was nice, I stole one. Heeeee. Yay. Dinner with my dears as usual and went to our same old place. And back home at 12.30am.. Slept at 1.30am and woke up at 9am plus and back to school for MR. CRIES OUT LOUD. I just wna sleep longer. ): Spent 5 hours wrecking my brain with Yisin coming out with pointers for our findings. And I think we are in DEEEEEP DEEEEP SHIT. WEDNEDAY'S SUBMISSION. Barely half the report is even out yet. ): STRESSSS SUPER STRESS. Jacq came with BUBBLE TEA!(: Anyway.. went for late lunch at techno after 4pm plus. The salted veggie + duck soup sucks that I had to order chicken wings to compliment my white rice. Lol. After lunch we went to watch fishes. We stood there for a moment watching them.. Was really fascinating and Jacq bought a fish to accompany her sad lonely neon fishy living in this big fish aquarium at her home. We saw many other fishes and even seamonkeys. HEE. I love to watch fishes. Use to sit in front of my tiny bowl of guppies & Joo Joo(my dead goldfish) for hours. I JUST ENJOY THEIR COMPANY. They stare politely at me, and I stare politely right back on too. LOL. Fishes are friends, not food! (: Whatever. Think that's about it for today. Gotta run along, love.




Will you say okay...
I don't need you,
I don't need you to destroy me,
I don't need you to tell me how to lead my life.
I don't need you to decide how I should feel.
I am happy now, just the way I am.
Pleaese say you're happy for me too.

Will you stay awake for me? :)

I'm hungry. And all stressed up. : ( Things can't get any worse, could it? Brain dead already. I can't think further. My empty vessel seems rather overloaded. More like project-thoughts overloaded. I'm SO WORRIED, PARANOID and STRESSED to the MAX. God, I hate this semester. This 2 weeks worth of break is rather redundant. It's like project overload?! Like f. the holidays and chuck it away. Retards! ARRRR.

Okay let me see what deadlines are up ahead:
ONE. MR surveys to be collated by Monday. Go for SPSS enrichment and do data keying. Whatever shit. I missed 2 out of 3 sessions, thanks to my lazy bum me. TWO. Biz Finance project dued on 29th, and holy moley, we have not started doing anything. Great, just great. THREE. Draftings for video and PPT slides for Psychology dued on Thurs, OOO? Where's the video?? Crap. FOUR. Biz Entrepreneur proposal dued on first week of July? Whatever, I haven't even edited my draft at all. Arrrrrr. FIVE. Trading period on mid July. Inventory and stock preperation is driving me insaneeeee. UP UP UP UP THE WALL. ARRR. Why so many things to do?! ARRRG. Okay, enough of me complaining about school. I feel tired just by talking about school work. Work, speaking of work? I have totally no time for it. I miss the kids so much :( Especially Malcom. BOOOO. Nvm... School's more important to me. Sob.. So, I think I have only worked for 3 days for this month. The thought of pay day just UPSETS me... Like reallllll upsettingg.... woooooo... (whines.)

Forget it, Hanna asked me out today. Went to Vivo City! Hmmmm, while I watched her shop for lingeries. Hehe.. I wanted to shop, but I'm so damn BROKE. I've got only $50 for 2 weeks. :( HOW TO SURVIVE. TELL ME?! All thanks to trading period... I've got to sacrifise $100! T_T BAHHHS. Anyway back to shopping, no, my window shopping with Hanna. Yeah, we walked around.. Talked.. Yadah, normal things Honey and Pie loved to do :) Oh and we queued for DOUGHNUTS! BAhahahas. The queue was rather fast I reckon, prolly less than 20mins? I bought a box of 6 doghnuts :)

LOOK AT IT!! Okay, I still think Doughnut Factory has prettier Doughnuts..
Sigh, just by thinking of it, my stomach growled. :/ It's late... I don't wna snack, luhhh. ARRRR. Frustrations. Mmmmmm, then we went home 'cause she decided to accompany the baby at home then to accompany me! :( How upsetting. Anyhooo, met Olivia in the evening for our usual tea + ice-cream session over at Hougang. Wonder why we hav so much things to say? And we can never stop talking..? I wonder.. Hmmm, guess, we're girls and we're the bestest best of best friends. Wth is that, NVM. My bestest girl buddy. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE, THOUGH YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A BOYFRIEND AND DONT LOVE ME AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE HIM, I STILL DO. Hahaha. Random. Don't forget about me, OKAY?!

School.

Sigh, I'm at the lab now. Haven't been blogging latetly and I'm getting 'complained' by my dearest girl, Liping. So here's a short one. School timetable sucks. I didn't get into my desired CDS and I'm still emo. Lol. Stable though. I want to do arts that badly but TP decided that I should learn how to psycho people. Yes, psychology. Bahhhh. Well, not that bad.. Beats studying uhhhhmm, water tech? Lol. OSMOSIS!!! PEEEEEPEEEEE. Okie. Side-tracked. Back to school. Yuuuup, waiting for Su and Lix to end their lessons. Damn crap luh, was seperated from my clique. And not fair 'cause I'm going SOLO! :( Sighhh. Nevermind, shall struggle hard for this year. Hmmmmmmm... Shall update more on what happened during the hols next time when I have the pictures; SL camp, Pisang chalet and other random outings. LOL. OKIE I BLOGGED LIKE AFTER WHAT SEEMED LIKE 23537892378923 days. Happy now darlings? :) Okie, got to run! Having my first psycho tut in like 1 hours time. BAHH. Love.

I don't like you, I missed you.

It's My March<3

HI. It's March alr! Happy holidays my friends! :) Design peeps, better work hard for the projects and tests. Bwahahaha. Don't fret, holidays are around the corner for you peeps toooo. :) Aiyeee, can you believe it, it's alr the 3rd month of 2007?? 3rd. Why time passes so fast, as usual. Hope the O Levellers are happy w their postings. And if you're appealing all the best too!

(Chomping a sweet sweet Fuji pink-reddish apple at this hour. ^^)

Recently have been drowning in excessive rock, indulging into the constant drummings and strummings. It's awesome to sing along to it when you're so totally feeling for the song. You know the passion for rock! I loveeeeeee that feeling deeeeeeep down inside so very much, makes you feel a lot better when you're moodless or down. Music especially rock (except heavymetal) have always been there for me. ALWAYS(: And I'm think turning deaf too. My Ipods' volume is tuned up to 90% I get stares on the buses, by elders especially for blaring it tooo loud. You can't blame me for being so deaf. Watch out, I M I G H T.. gorge your eyeballs out. ^^ Might... 'Cause it bothers me. Leave me alone you faggots!!!! EfFfFfFFF(:(:(:(:

Today's a happy day. It was packed w stuff, band, pool and dinner w me folks. I found a new past-time, pool-ing! I enjoy playing pool, especially w the band friends. So I think every Wednesdays after band would be past-time activies :) Thimk it might be bowling next Wednesday. Woopie! Thank you mommy for feeding your babies with YB&J'S ICECREAMY! *YAYNESS!(:(:(:* Gooeychocolateyfudgemeltinginyourmouth. Hungry mommy!!! (BEGS FOR MORE!!!) Je aimes chocolats!!!!

I have been contemplating really hard lately. Both past and present. It's amazing how much time I can find to think about stuff that really bothers me. And how much of these precious time can be spent on something more meaningful. It's strange, I'm either too buzy or too free, never somewhere in the middle.. How time fools us sometimes.
(Ponders. How can anyone live w the troubles everyday, having to smile like everything's okay when it's not? How long can you live in trouble? They said forever.. How long can we actually hold on..? As always forever.. Why hold on even though you know it's never....? )

Ignore. Told yarr, I'm contemplating life.
Peekture talk.

BEFOREMARCHHOLS):
"Chilling out w my poopies!"
"Mugging scene One???!: At TK's place during CNY! Study week behhhh."
"Mugging scene Two: Strawberry Nanny's love on my exbook @ CP lib."

"Mugging scene Threes: at the airport w k, din and minxing<3!"
"Mugging scene Four: mother's bedsheet are cute! cherrylove!"
"Cam whore session! We never fail to love~ SEE HER?"

"This was seriously a mugging scene: classic no.5, them not studying! Hahaha, TP lib before stats paper!"

AFTEREXAMS(((x
"Took neos w the class girls!"
"Nad, Hanna-Su &Jol."
"JUMBO+BUMBO!"
"You're my hunny bun sugar plum, pumpiyumpiyumkin!"
"So, wna pick, dig and lick?"
"Your's truely.."

I hope you are really okay....
butwhydoievenbother?
whenallicoulddoissittingalonewatchingoutforyou..
toletyoupouryourheartout, likeyoualwayswantedtotellyoueverythingit'sokay...
reallyalliwantisyouyobefine..

BLAHHHHH..

Going to have morning tutorial with my weird tutor at 11AM. Blaaahhh, and I haven't done tutorials. I hope she will be in a good mood later, if not we're going to have a taste of her 'menopause-y' wrath AGAIN. :S Brrrrrr, sends shiver down our spines. LOL. Forgive me for my randomness, I'm very very very moodless and bored. Can't even bother to pick my pen up to do my tutorials. RARRRR.. And I need to meet my french role play partner after school at 4... and then have to go to band for sectionals... and then sleep early because I need to attend a stupid early morning lecture at 9 the next morning fuck. BLAHHHHHHHH. I JUST DRAT SCHOOL TO THE MAX BLAH...!!!!!! Hope to have a good dinner with my family tomorrow night. Yays~~ Sigh, damn lazy to blog now.. Just wanted to kill abit of time. Okay PENS UP :S! Goodnight.

Oh yahh, some pictures with my cranky buddies:

"My bestest buddy"
"3 CRANKY ONES!!"
"OOOO, sexae ladddaeee~~ Trying to be ambitious, cannot ah?"
"HAHAA, SO RANDOM!"
"Abit unbalanced, huh?"
"ehhhh?? hmmmmm??"
"HUH???"

Yeah, that's all for picture talking. BYE.
You're weird, maybe if you didn't care it would have been better...
Maybe your smile would do..

Friday.

What a hectic week bahhhhhh! And finally! Presentations are down and main projects are submitted. Still there's a/c and comm sk. Phew. Kinda thougher than last semester and I bet next semester would be a nightmare.

Emotions have been rather monotonous for this week. Numb, and don't-know-what-to-feel emotions. LOL. Don't know what shit I'm talking about. Anyway, skipped band today as my family had an early reunion for CNY. Jayjay's going overseas for 6 weeks! And he won't be back for Eerik's birthday and CNY. Sigh.. Big brothers brought little sister to Sim Lim Square to buy her IPOD! : D Yay, settled myself with a silver Ipod Nano II : ) My firsssst mp3 player. Phew. Big brothers drove little sister home for home-made steamboat!!!! YUMYUM! And was feeling sooooooo bloated! Thank goodness she didn't gain weight! (beams!)

Mmmmmm.. Goreng, chocolate, rotten, dragon, beng, blushie, old and laughing emo pisangs stayed over at CHARRED pisang's place yesterday night and all went to school together. Haha.. Was extremely exhausted as we were on movie marathon. Watched 3 movies straight, She's The Man, Scary Movie 4 and White chicks from 11PM all the way to 6AM? LOL. Dinner with dragon, charred and goreng pisangs was awesome : ) Spread the story of Nasi Lemak, okay? : )

Okay I seem to be typing in a very weird manner. Anyway, we all went to school after sleeping for about 1hour or so? I WAS SO COLD! Hahaha, I showered in cold water early in the morning! I forgot to switch on the water heater! And it was raining outside la. Hmmm.. Kannan's place is really very nice and cosy. But it gets really very very cold at night till morning and there is a lot of MOZZIES!!! AHHH!! I got 6 mozzie bites? :S LOL... So, I went to school unprepared for RSB presentation. Sigh, was a nervous wreck, missed a point, and screwed up the rest of my speech. I was still so stressed after the presentations. Comments on my group was quite positive, except for the people(including ME!) holding the scripts and distracting the audiences, he didn't comment on my speech like thank goodness! I'm really not cut out for Business, but still my group has the highest for visuals! HAHA. See? I'm at least better at designing than making public speeches. BLAH. Overall, well done Group D, very very satisfied with our presentation although I screwed my ego needs and motivation part. HAHA. Don't bother about what others say : ) Because we truely believe tht all the efforts we have put in is worth and we achieved what Roche has expected. I guess? Lunch with Pisangs and went home with Beng pisang. He was AWFULLY quiet but both of us fell asleep. Hmmm, we're all too beat, luh. Okay that's it! GOOD NIGHT.

Some pictures to wrap it up!

"Please welcome, the new age retailers."

"Ha, Felii, Su-h, Liping with ME! :)"

"Lousie the Goreng Pisang and Jols the Laughing Emo Pisang!"
"Story Nasi Lemak Clan. First four pisangs of Jan Pisang Gathering!"

(: Love.